Wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time

So at last a jaiket-hauder has been selected. Another privately schooled oik following the Boy (sic) David (George Watson's), George Reid (Dollar Academy) and now Alex Fergusson (Eton). Plebs like myself secretly long for the day when the heid parly honcho's alma mater is somewhere like Rosshall Academy. In the meantime, we shouldn't get ideas above our station; those bogs won't clean themselves.

Meanwhile, moves continue to avoid a proper, judicial inquiry into the Labour hackery that led to 'X's liberally distributed across ballot papers like a Littlewoods pools coupon (Scottish Liberal Democrats - no score draw). One of the numpty mobs responsible for the farce have reeled in a fellow bureaucrat, who no doubt knows a number of the players in the fiasco through drinks parties and junkets, to investigate our bureaucrats. Independent and impartial my arse.

I nominate John McClane to oversee the inquiry, if only for the prospect of him yelling "Yippee ki-yay, mother fucker" at David Cairns whilst setting alight a trail of jet fuel in a pyrotechnic extravaganza. Let's see Lord Fraser of Carmyllie do that

Detective McClane warned the Scotland Secretary he would only ask the question once more